Blah blah blabbity blah. I don't even know where to start. So Steve and I have decided to go to Dinseyland for his vacation, my old boss got fired and can't stand up for me to have full time, I actually don't mind part-time, Steve quit the radio station, my roommate is getting more pregnant and more stupid, Amanda is getting more pregnant and more stupid. I found out I'm infertile and probably with never have children and Dan's moving in January and we need to find a new house.
Shall I elaborate on any of these?
How about Disneyland. Let's start with a good note. Steve has vacation days now and we were going to go to the Zombie Walk. When Steve spoke to our assistant manager, he told her that he's taking me to meet his mother and wants to know if I can get the days off too. She said it shouldn't be a problem. A week later, we checked the days off and I didn't get them, but Steve did. So, Steve went back in to talk to our assistant manager and she said that I haven't even been there for a year to earn time off. She said I hadn't even been there for 90 days. I've been there for 5 months. It will be 6 in a week. I realize that's still not a year, but it's definitely more than 90 days. So there was no reason I should get time off. But the original plan was to go up to Oregon, grab Kelsey and Kylie, go to the Zombie Walk, head down the 101 to Disneyland, visit Steve's mom in Vegas on the way home, and head back to Elko and have Dad come pick up Kelsey and Kylie from me and have them hang out with him over the Summer. But now our days have been cut much shorter. Since I'm no longer on a full-time schedule, I have three days off. Enough to go to Vegas, hang out with Steve's mom, drive to Disneyland for the day, and then drive back to Vegas. So this is all happening July 3rd, 4th, and 5th. I'm hoping we can get our free tickets into Disneyland, if not... well that's okay. I have the cash to pay for it if not. The woman that hired me on as Backroom Inventory recently got fired, so I've been told, and she was trying to get me full-time and the manager she was working with to make this happen, put her two weeks in. Her last day was last Saturday. So now I have no one who's trying to get me full-time, but I'm starting to realize, it's not that bad. I'm making decent money and with Steve's help, if I don't have that extra 8 hours, it's not going to kill me. Steve and I also got a joint bank account. So I can control the finances. The only problem is, Steve can too. Haha, he's actually really good with money, but he's also an impulse shopper. We'll discover more, I suppose.
Also, recently, Steve quit the radio station. Honestly, the only reason he had a second job was because he had nothing better to do with his time and Steve's a workaholic. He can afford to not have the second job. The reason he quit was he was only supposed to be working from 8-12, but the hours kept running later and Steve kept getting home later only getting minimal hours of sleep. And his new sales representative boss was putting all of his work on him and not doing a lot of it on his own. Steve only found this out recently when he had work with his ex co-worker.
Brandy quit her job and she does nothing but sleep or mope around the house. I'm cleaning dishes constantly and cleaning the counters. I'm so fed up with doing it so much. I mean, I understand things can't stay clean forever, but geez. The amount of time to get this place dirtier than what I just cleaned it from takes what could be measured as nano seconds. Brandy's trying to get on medicade, but she doesn't have any of her information, she doesn't recall when she was last in work, blah blah blah. Sometimes i just want to look at people and say, "Grow the fuck up." but I'm pretty positive this is something Brandy will never be able to do. Even with being a mother.
Amanda, the girl who is possibly pregnant with Steve's child... they found out that it's going to be a boy. Steve's really upset about it. He always wanted to name his first son after him, but he doesn't want to name his son after him with a woman he hates. She keeps bringing up retarded names like Lamko and such. Steve's not going for it at all. They were texting and he said absolutely not to Lamko. Then she said, "It's my baby, I'll name it what I want." Then Steve replied, "Fine, then I have no fiscal responsibility for it and don't need anything to do with it." Then she started back pedaling realizing the shit she put herself in and Steve finally said, "How about we find something you, I, and Robert (the possible other father) agree on." She flipped out. "Robert has no part in this." Steve responded, "What if he's the father." Amanda says, "I don't care. He's not part of my life anymore."
So that fucking means that Steve's still part of her life. She wants Steve to be part of her life. I don't want to share him at all. If this is his kid, I'm going to have to share him for the rest of my life. It's very upsetting.
We went to a follow up appointment with the doctor about my extreme pain. He said he didn't really know what the pain was, but I do have PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I'm prone to developing cysts on my ovaries and this causes extreme difficulty to get pregnant. It's not impossible, but it's highly improbable. The other day, Steve's cousin, Adrian, his wife just had a baby. We were there a couple hours after she was born and Steve handed her to me and I got to hold her. Later that day, Steve asks if he gave me baby fever by letting me hold the baby.
The funny thing is, I've had baby fever. Before I knew Amanda, I kind of wanted a child. I was in the wrong situation for one though. 1) I didn't have a boyfriend or dependable man to be the father (in which I would want if I ever got pregnant). 2) I was going to college. 3) I was running track. 4) I didn't have a dependable job. 5) I didn't have a stable home. There were a thousand other reasons I couldn't have one on top of those, those were just the big ones. But when Amanda found out she was pregnant, I was there every step of the way during her pregnancy. I held her legs as little Aerowyn was born because Amanda was too short to reach the stirrups and be comfortable at the same time. The moment Aerowyn was born, I wanted one more than ever. I was dating Dustin at the time, but there's no way we could of had a kid together. I'd have to wait for him to grow up much more. Seeing kids running around Walmart didn't help. Lots of them were cute. You would think it would scare me off of children, but it didn't. Then I got with Steve and discovering that he might be the father to someone else's child amplified my jealousy of having children. Then Brandy finds out she's pregnant and she's probably the last person that needs to be a mother. Then I visit the doctor's and they're like, "You can't have kids." I pretty much just felt like... Challenge Accepted.
I mean, I'm not in the best situation to raise children right now. I don't have my own home, I'm only 19, I need to go back to school, I would like to be 21 and party a couple times before I have to call a babysitter for me to do so... but it just sucks that when you realize you want to be something... be a mom... and everyone in the world tells you you can't and waves what they can do in front of your face. I hate Amanda in the first place and the fact that she's pregnant with MY boyfriend's child and wants him back... how am I supposed to feel? How am I supposed to react?
Then we discover that Dan is moving in January. So we need a new place before then. Elko's not cheap. Steve and I have been househunting, but all the houses that are in our price range are just really shitty. I don't know what we're supposed to do.
So... see how my life can change in a matter of a single week?
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Looking Up
Now that I'm falling regularly into my schedule, I think I'll be able to blog more frequently now. I don't know why I feel it necessary to blog about my life. I mean... I don't have a lot of readers, my stories aren't that interesting, and everything I post could potentially get me in trouble. Mostly my complaints about my roommates. Oh and then they stumble upon my blog? Oh yes, that will turn out oh so very lovely. So much has happened. So much I can't share about publicly. Even though this is a well kept secret of a blog, there's work related things I'm sure I can't mention.
Did I tell you about my trip to the ER? Oh yes, I actually had to go to the ER this time. I've been having chest pains and stomach cramps lately. Steve had me make an appointment at The Golden Medical Center where my Dad's insurance would take care of me greatly. This woman came in and listened to my complaints and gave a bunch of 'ideas' as to what it could be. She suggested my stomach pains were from an ovarian cyst and that my chest pains were from inflamed cartilage that connects my ribs to my sternum. She told me about some over the counter drugs I can take and they were going to draw blood and contact me again sometime.
So, we went home.
Two days after I had my blood drawn, I was in the shower. I was complaining to Steve before I stepped in about the pain in my stomach. We really thought nothing of it except for the occasional gasp of pain coming from me. Suddenly a sharp pain stabbed my lower left side and I dropped sobbing. Steve caught me and lowered me to the bottom of the tub where I curled up and held myself. He retrieved a towel and ran around the house looking for ibuprofen. He asked if we needed to go to the hospital. I shook my head. He asked again. I firmly said, "No." He didn't know what to do, so he called his mother... a nurse. He told her what was happening and was asking me question in which I was answering in screams. Finally he helps me to the bedroom and starts picking out clothes for me. "Come on. We're going to the hospital."
I get dressed and he takes me to the hospital. The pain is still pretty fierce, but it begins to fade over time. We get to the emergency room and I feel like an idiot. The pain is nothing but a dull annoyance now.
We check in and that doctor's take me in. They ask how I feel and how it felt and assume it's an ovarian cyst. They take me in for an ultra sound.
The warm female doctor is all sweet and soothing and she tells me that I'm going to have to remove my clothes and put on this gown and lay on this angled pillow with my hips directed upwards. She leaves the room and allows me to do so and comes back. She pulls out about a foot long probe and tells me to insert it like a tampon. That way I can be the only one to touch me physically and she wouldn't have to feel awkward peaking on in. So I insert the probe and she starts stabbing around looking at my uterus. She finds no cyst. They send me back to my little room where I wait. Eventually the doctor comes in and explains that it's infectious and to be on antibiotics. There was no way I could go to work that night and wrote me a note. He informed Steve that I had to be on a clear liquid diet. He gave me two pills. One to start my antibiotics and another for the pain and then escorted us out of the emergency back room. So we're in the car driving and Steve calls his mom to tell her how everything went... I was paying attention and all interested and then nothing... I wake up about 5 minutes later to Steve saying, "She's passed out now." I sit up and scream, "NO I'M NOT!"
Eventually he takes me to Walmart to pick up my prescription. He drags me around the store all drugged up. Some crazy stuff was going on for me. At some point, I lost my purse. Steve told me it was in the cart. I asked him where the cart was. Apparently I was pushing it. The good thing was... I found my purse.
Those two days on that clear liquid diet were evil.
A few days later, Steve decided to have us go shopping. We hit all these small towns around town and eventually ended up at the thrift store. Books for $1.00. a VCR for $5. VHS for $1.50. The guy who was running the place was watching us. We were fighting over movies cause I didn't want to spend more than $20 at the thrift store. So He comes over and mentions a sale on the movies. I ask what the sale is. He says, "We'll see when you get to the counter. " So we chat with him and he's a really awesome guy. He asks why the hell two people like us are in Elko, NV. Steve tells him he grew up here and I tell him I grew up in Battle Mountain. He's baffled by how people like us could spawn from this area. We finally bring up all our stuff to check out and he looks at everything and goes, "How's $15 sound?"
OH MY GOD... the amount of shit we bought... for $15? Hell to the yes. He was so cool. So we got all this awesome stuff. Then we bought paint to paint my bike and wood to build a shelf in our room. Steve built the shelf in our room and now we have so much more space to store crap. I bought a bathroom organizer that goes behind the toilet and our bathroom looks so amazing right now.
Seriously... everything has gotten a thousand times better than it already was despite going to the hospital with unexplained problems. Not only that, I know Steve is here to take care of me no matter what. I don't even know how to handle my life right now.
Did I tell you about my trip to the ER? Oh yes, I actually had to go to the ER this time. I've been having chest pains and stomach cramps lately. Steve had me make an appointment at The Golden Medical Center where my Dad's insurance would take care of me greatly. This woman came in and listened to my complaints and gave a bunch of 'ideas' as to what it could be. She suggested my stomach pains were from an ovarian cyst and that my chest pains were from inflamed cartilage that connects my ribs to my sternum. She told me about some over the counter drugs I can take and they were going to draw blood and contact me again sometime.
So, we went home.
Two days after I had my blood drawn, I was in the shower. I was complaining to Steve before I stepped in about the pain in my stomach. We really thought nothing of it except for the occasional gasp of pain coming from me. Suddenly a sharp pain stabbed my lower left side and I dropped sobbing. Steve caught me and lowered me to the bottom of the tub where I curled up and held myself. He retrieved a towel and ran around the house looking for ibuprofen. He asked if we needed to go to the hospital. I shook my head. He asked again. I firmly said, "No." He didn't know what to do, so he called his mother... a nurse. He told her what was happening and was asking me question in which I was answering in screams. Finally he helps me to the bedroom and starts picking out clothes for me. "Come on. We're going to the hospital."
I get dressed and he takes me to the hospital. The pain is still pretty fierce, but it begins to fade over time. We get to the emergency room and I feel like an idiot. The pain is nothing but a dull annoyance now.
We check in and that doctor's take me in. They ask how I feel and how it felt and assume it's an ovarian cyst. They take me in for an ultra sound.
The warm female doctor is all sweet and soothing and she tells me that I'm going to have to remove my clothes and put on this gown and lay on this angled pillow with my hips directed upwards. She leaves the room and allows me to do so and comes back. She pulls out about a foot long probe and tells me to insert it like a tampon. That way I can be the only one to touch me physically and she wouldn't have to feel awkward peaking on in. So I insert the probe and she starts stabbing around looking at my uterus. She finds no cyst. They send me back to my little room where I wait. Eventually the doctor comes in and explains that it's infectious and to be on antibiotics. There was no way I could go to work that night and wrote me a note. He informed Steve that I had to be on a clear liquid diet. He gave me two pills. One to start my antibiotics and another for the pain and then escorted us out of the emergency back room. So we're in the car driving and Steve calls his mom to tell her how everything went... I was paying attention and all interested and then nothing... I wake up about 5 minutes later to Steve saying, "She's passed out now." I sit up and scream, "NO I'M NOT!"
Eventually he takes me to Walmart to pick up my prescription. He drags me around the store all drugged up. Some crazy stuff was going on for me. At some point, I lost my purse. Steve told me it was in the cart. I asked him where the cart was. Apparently I was pushing it. The good thing was... I found my purse.
Those two days on that clear liquid diet were evil.
A few days later, Steve decided to have us go shopping. We hit all these small towns around town and eventually ended up at the thrift store. Books for $1.00. a VCR for $5. VHS for $1.50. The guy who was running the place was watching us. We were fighting over movies cause I didn't want to spend more than $20 at the thrift store. So He comes over and mentions a sale on the movies. I ask what the sale is. He says, "We'll see when you get to the counter. " So we chat with him and he's a really awesome guy. He asks why the hell two people like us are in Elko, NV. Steve tells him he grew up here and I tell him I grew up in Battle Mountain. He's baffled by how people like us could spawn from this area. We finally bring up all our stuff to check out and he looks at everything and goes, "How's $15 sound?"
OH MY GOD... the amount of shit we bought... for $15? Hell to the yes. He was so cool. So we got all this awesome stuff. Then we bought paint to paint my bike and wood to build a shelf in our room. Steve built the shelf in our room and now we have so much more space to store crap. I bought a bathroom organizer that goes behind the toilet and our bathroom looks so amazing right now.
Seriously... everything has gotten a thousand times better than it already was despite going to the hospital with unexplained problems. Not only that, I know Steve is here to take care of me no matter what. I don't even know how to handle my life right now.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)