Fall Leaves

After two and half days of doing nothing but sobbing my eyes out into Steve's chest, who passes me off to my mother's chest to cry into while he goes to work, who passes me back to Steve's chest when he gets home, I've finally calmed down. I still have no answers. Amanda's not really being that cooperative until Steve gets a paternity test. Throughout all of this cry, I became really really sick. I was already sick to begin with having puss pockets in the base of my throat, but it enhanced with all the sobbing I was doing and not to mention the heavy lifting at work.
The day before Amanda's baby was born, I was kind of sick, but brushed it off. I had to lift this extremely heavy box into a bin. My co-worker and I tried to do a "Team Lift" on it and it was even too heavy for the both of us. So we ended up getting a cart and shoving it off the pallet onto the cart. We took the cart near the spot we needed to shove it into and tried to lift it again. It was so heavy we couldn't get it up. Our boss walked by and I yelled over to her for some help to at least hold the cart. She held the cart and we lifted the box. The box almost fell on her and I caught it with my arm. I think that's where the most pain began. My co-worker and I lifted it slightly and got it into its bin. Our boss had to throw the cart aside and helped us push the box into the bin. Afterward, I was so sore and tired. Then the night Amanda's baby was born and I was already weak from sobbing all night and all the way to work, the moment I get to work, this guy asks me to bring him a pallet with GV Purified Gallon Water. There are 56 boxes of 6 one gallon bottles on this pallet. I began to pull it with a pallet jack and a co-worker rushed over to push it and we had to push it from one side of walmart, to the other. I grew winded and weak while pulling it over there and we finally reached our destination. I dropped it off and went back to the backroom where I was then asked to bin housewares. Such as Vacuums, dish sets, and microwaves. The night probably couldn't get any slower especially with the amount of pain surging through every muscle of my body. Also, the moment people left me alone in the backroom, I began to sob heavily. It was probably the worst night of my life.
I came home in the morning and found I was entirely alone. For once, the house was completely empty, and I needed someone with me. I began to sob wholeheartedly into my sleeve and was desperately texting my mother for help. She asked her boss to come home and she rushed home to me. I couldn't do anything for hours except pour tears into her chest. I also complained about the pain throughout my whole body and the soreness of my throat. She decided we should call the doctor in which she did. We had to call Grandma to find the name of my doctor because he used to be my uncle Bruce's doctor, so she knew. She began to mention Amanda's baby and what we're planning on doing. She couldn't understand my response because it was nothing but a growing blubbering of jibberish coming out in sobs. She knew she took a wrong step and was trying to calm me, but it was already too late. Mom took the phone away and spoke to grandma about a muscle relaxer. Mom gave me this pill and told me it was to help me relax. I passed out.
I woke up with mom taking me to the hospital for my doctor's appointment she set up while I was falling asleep. We got there and they tested me for strep in which I did not have. They just assumed it was a virus and I needed to take ibuprofen and lots of rest. The doctor then prescribed me to stay home from work that night and take the next few days off which those days were my days off. But I feel terrible because I took a day off, then I take my two days off, and then I return Thursday night and I get transferred Friday.
Probably really pissed them off. Oh well, I won't see them for a while now though.
Today I didn't do anything, but just rest and hang out with mom. She stayed home with me to make sure I was okay for the whole day. Then when Steve came home, he took me to Michael's because they're having a 20% to 60% off sale on all Halloween things! So we spent some good money and I bought some baskets for the wedding next year! Here it is. I'm also going to have the flower girl throw fall leaves rather than flowers. Perhaps there will be a couple flowers in there, but the main thing will be fall leaves. These are also going to be the colors for the wedding.

I've yet to decide who the flower girl should be. I don't know any young girls really. My FRIEND, Amanda, her baby will be almost 2 by the time of the wedding, but is 2 old enough to walk and comprehend throwing flowers? I don't know. I'll ask around some more. For the ring bearer, Steve offered Maggie. Which I found hilarious and thought he was joking, but he was serious. I'm still thinking that over as well. I offered his nephew. Adrian's son. Steve said he didn't even think of that. So that's something to consider too. But I don't want Adrian's other son, Jordan, to feel left out. So I might make him a Jr. Groomsman/Usher. Sounds good to me. I will make him something.
Steve gets so tired and with us on different schedules, we don't get to hang out that much. So when he insists on hanging out with me, this is generally what happens:

The poor boy is always so tired. I wish he wasn't always passing out on me. I wish we could actually hang out. My life has been just up and down so much. I can't even keep up with it. I wish I could just get a good long week long nap.
I don't know how I'm going to catch up or get ahead. I assume eventually we'll get back on track and everything will be okay for a while.